I also have two scars running up my legs like inseams. This next story is about a very specialized example of this kind of moralism. If you preferred a beeped version, there's one on our website. Elna was a fake nurse at a fake adoption center in FAO Schwartz, where she helped place realistic baby dolls in the homes of wealthy Manhattanites. I just thought it was funny, and it made everyone laugh. LISTEN. OK, so I'm going to jump in here. You guys, I've been working really hard on not showing this to people. I'm taking it right now, by the way. But it wasn't really all that strange. I went out with him again. I'm Ira Glass. You know, packed, sold-out theater. Lindy writes about what happened between them in her book. You said being black adds another layer of bullshit to being overweight. A warranty is automatically included with our products when purchased new from an Authorized Elna Dealer demonstrates that we positively believe in their longevity. My job was to walk down the line of people waiting to go into the theater and divide them into three groups-- dots, generals, and CBS twos. ", Then I went all caps. And it felt like some sort of sorcery. The perfect combination of power, performance and durability. Two of the biggest things in Paul's life were coming together-- God and exercise. Subject-- hello, could you lay off the fat people shit? I don't want to pretend that I'm OK with it, and it's not judging anyone else. I remember being confused by it. So it's like falling down, making a scene--. And she says those two things together have a huge impact on the way people perceive her. That's why deciding to stay fat and be OK with it is at a peculiar frontier right now, where things are shifting and people do not agree about what is acceptable to say and think. She got everything I thought I had to lose over 100 pounds to get. They made an incision around my entire waist, cut out a 6-inch belt of skin, and then sewed me back together. She has performed in many of New York City’s hottest venues, including Caroline’s and the Upright Citizen’s Brigade Theatre, as well as on NPR’s This American Life, and received grants for her work from Yaddo and Breadloaf.Baker lives in New York City. You're just a thin person who's failing consistently for your whole life. Every student had to get a certain number of aerobics points per week. Well, we came on campus. In the abdomen, in the back, in the triceps area. When she was fat, she wasn’t able to get a job or a boyfriend and sometimes thought, “I wonder if it’s my weight.” She figured no, that’s a bad attitude, paranoia. Carmen Maria Machado. Ha! It's not the story we're told. Why were there somber strings at my birthday party? Of course, I'd lost the weight to fix two specific problems. And I'm sorry, but I have huge breasts. He was Andy in 3C. She'd cancel plans to avoid restaurants whose tables were so close together she couldn't navigate through them. I'd only been kissed a handful of times when I was fat. And so when I got back in the dorm and I was talking to my roommates and stuff, they were like, well, you can do it. So why am I putting off figuring out how to live with that? And I'll just say we have unbeeped some words here on the internet version of our show. OK, back to her reading. Cookies policy, Copyright 2019 © Elna International Corp. SA | All Rights Reserved, Welcome to elna website – Swiss Design – Sewing machines – Embroidery – Quilt – Overlock. Listen to me. Elna had maintained relationshps with many people -- family, friends, associates, & neighbors -- including Tina Sievert and Michael Sievert. Aham took my hand and led me to the back. She came in holding a bottle of white wine and two Valiums-- one for her, one for me. I've lost 25 pounds since last summer, Julie. And recently, she's been wondering whether she should get a type of surgery this could solve this problem that's plaguing her. Everyone was there. OK, I'm going to jump in one more time here, because this health question is actually kind of the third rail when people talk about fat people. We nodded when we saw each other in the hallway. What it do to see that? Summary: Elna Baker is 63 years old and was born on 08/19/1957. To install click the Add extension button. You know what's shameful? Wait, it's almost 10:00 PM on a school night, and we're at a bar. Why are the kids here? Ew. It's not like when you come out as gay or transgender. Lindy decided to take a stand. --to be that. She'd been suspended for being fat. I wish they'd cut it out. Lindy says in the years since, though, she's noticed-- and Dan says this is true-- he writes about fat people differently. Just let me be me. I thought it was real. You know what I'm talking about-- the big table, the white board. See it? That if you're fat, you must be lazy or lack self-discipline, that there's something wrong with our country that so many of us can't control our weight. I took it at 11:00 AM this morning. New Elna kissed 16 guys in eight weeks. I wanted to get a job and find love. But even surgery couldn't remove the extra skin entirely. In both pictures, she's fat. And so at this point in my life, I'd say I would err on the side of, let's not hurt somebody. I knew Dan didn't hate me. I know exactly how messed up it is. It's saying that no weight is better than any other weight, which, given the health risks associated with greater weight that Lindy acknowledges, it can be hard to get your head around. I cannot deny Heavenly Father's role in this whole process. Read Full Summary Nothing. I don't want to get thin. Yes, it does, like you're even lower on the sort of totem pole of dignity. I can't get it prescribed anymore, so I buy it in Mexico or online, though the online stuff is fake and doesn't work as well. It was like Mission Impossible. He wasn't alone. That was the gold standard for determining body fat in the 1970s. I think just the people that were in-- just us special ones. Just to give you a sense of how serious ORU was about this and how ambitious, at the beginning of every semester, every freshman went to what they called the human performance lab for skin fold testing. Her book's called Shrill. And I honestly, because I'm vain, want to wear cuter clothes. Elna Baker. MANAGEMENT. The thing is supposed to be, God looks inside and sees your heart, right? A few days later, Dan Savage wrote a response, by the way, three times longer than Lindy's post. Instead it made me sad. Back next week with more stories of This American Life. I take up a lot of space. "WE GET IT! You Can’t Go Your Own Way. There's another level. And so my roommate was there, and then my friend was there. 25% for males and 35% for females would be a good cutoff. I looked at my pile and began debating what would stay and what would go. So obesity in America affects a higher percentage of black people than white people. I got a scholarship to NYU. They said it was super difficult to comprehend that such a thing had existed. Yeah, but you know what's funny? I have wanted to change this body my whole life. And here was ORU with all its students running around in headbands and tube socks. But I also feel like I can't be honest with you, like we won't really get anywhere unless I admit it. And I remember sitting across from him in his home having dinner. Only I wasn't actually physically capable of it. Of course, how Lindy writes about fat people was changed by this as well. He was responding to some Republicans' argument that gay marriage should be illegal because gay people supposedly die younger. Nine months in, I started seeing a guy from my building-- a kindergarten teacher who left love notes on my door. I'm taking control over my body. Because if you were concerned about my health, you would also be concerned about my mental health, which has spent the past 28 years being slowly eroded by statements like the above. Like, you can go into a car dealership, for example. So here in the podcast and the internet version of our radio show this week, we are adding this. Exactly. Act One, The Day the Scales Fell from Her Eyes. William Morris Endeavor Yeah, definitely. He said, I've probably laid my hands and prayed for over a million-- well over a million-- people. I didn't have the incentive without this program to do it on my own. Please check the corresponding audio before quoting in print. I think the real--. It just felt impolite to talk about, like me not wanting to burden you with my failure. Select from premium Elna Baker of the highest quality. "Hey, Dan. They might get a point for walking a mile or two for playing doubles tennis or five for bouncing on a trampoline. I say I know how to read and just leave it at that. Elna Baker's memoir is about being a twenty-something Mormon virgin in New York City. But they're not required to lose weight. There's a bunch of Tumblrs along these lines. No, not human babies. I have a shirt that says, "I'm allergic to mornings." [Contains explicit content] Elna Baker helped hundreds of babies get adopted at her old job. It's the idea that fat people would come out to their friends and family as fat. In the before picture, she is painfully shy and not as happy. 10 days? Now I just have to keep going. Like, I'm not going to bother you with this. Just a thought. And then, of course, the chair made a horrible, loud cracking noise, like, five minutes into the show. Oh, my god. One night, he told me, "I liked you from the first moment I saw you." And one of our staffers, Elna Baker, blurted out, if she put one of those on today, she'd feel like herself again. We're a joke. Also, you don't know anything about my health. Her grandfather would tell her flat out, nobody wants to see a fat girl on TV. When she spoke to us in 2012, things had changed. What do you mean? But I think it's easier to feel that way when you have multiple places where you can buy clothes and feel pretty and move through the world. "Almost every day, I hear some kind friend say, Sophie, dear, I think you're much too stout. When I arrived at Oral Roberts University, within a month, he met with all the new faculty. And I was just pretty devastated for the first couple of months that, you know, that that was the only thing that seemed to be important, right? And it made me see this whole thing differently. Elna Baker, Actress: Elna. I was unemployed, and I had never been in a relationship. As new Elna, I threw out all my pictures of old Elna and all the pictures in my parents' photo albums too, because I didn't want people to see them. It was a requirement. Old Elna looked for a job for a year and a half. He said he heard me, but I was accusing him of being a bigot-- a serious charge against someone exhibiting, by my admission, no animus. Sean Cole. This is from my journal. "To Dan Savage. So now that you're equating the stigmatization of fat people with the stigmatization of gay people, does that mean you're going to stop stigmatizing fat people on this blog?" It's sad that new Elna gets everything old Elna wanted, because I think old Elna was a better person than new Elna. It was a joke, of course, our marriage based on a lie. CBS two was for fat people, elderly people with a visible illness, people who looked like they might be disruptive, and goths. Here's Dan. The newscasters made it seem like this was some crazy Christian thing. After that, I knew him. Roxane Gay has written a lot about race and some about obesity in her book Bad Feminist and elsewhere. And that's how it's supposed to be. Our editor's Joel Lovell. It's not a fact at all. Paul was shaken up. In the fall of 1974, he took over the school's aerobics program at a brand new $2 million center with a fancy indoor track. If the South Dakotans floating around us all got out of the pool at the same time, the water level would most likely have dropped 6 feet.". How much weight have you lost in this Pounds Off program? Back in 1974, just the idea of regular exercise was cutting edge. It felt like that famous Eddie Murphy sketch on Saturday Night Live, where he goes undercover in whiteface and gets treated way better. Here's Paul. I was on it to lose weight for my wedding. So we're in this situation, where a third of all Americans are classified as overweight, another third of us are obese. I don't want to get thin. She says it took years, involved many humiliations, things she realized. And they're the ones I find that are often the strongest cheerleaders of, this is who I am, and, you have to take me as I am and respect me because of my body not despite it. Says she grew up being told the same thing that lots of fat girls are told-- that she'd never have a husband or a family if she stayed fat. And even when you're Lane Bryant fat, it's a struggle. She's currently writing a book about being fat. and not for sale because they were not up to standards. Later, I asked him why he did it that way-- such a big spectacle, such an event, not precisely our style. Paul Brynteson loves to exercise. As I bent forward, I heard it split even more. Is the official name of what you are morbidly obese? It had to be more complicated. Paul was a Pentecostal Evangelical Christian. In other words, we're horrible to look at. Dan was on that train, and I don't blame him. And then they had to lose some weight. That's a good fat person. Elna Baker lost a lot of weight, 110 pounds. When guys came on to me, it didn't feel like it was about me. This is who I am, which-- right now, anyway-- is so rare, it feels like a radical act. No matter what excuses they drum up about family values and, yes, health, it's all "ew." There's the person who's maybe 20 pounds overweight, who's fine as they are. Old Elna longed for someone like Andy and never got him. And I went back to ignoring him. Lindy and other fat people point out that actually, the causes of obesity are way more complex than just eating too much. The job she wanted in her case was she wanted to be an actress. Who are these hordes of fat people chasing you around, insisting that eating pot pies all day is awesome and good for your health? Act Five, An Immodest Proposal. She's what's called a chronic blusher. He never met old Elna. Of course, they still didn't agree. And so I was like, oh. And they think, well, no, she can't possibly be a woman. Today's program, "Tell Me I'm Fat," in which we ask, should we think about weight differently than we do? He asked simply if I'd ever detected any animus from him personally. Skittles, I thought, only the opposite. This wasn't a suggestion. I tried for the life I wanted, hard. How long have we been married? What do you do with them then? Previously, Elna lived in Collins, MS. Elna had maintained relationshps with many people -- family, friends, associates, & neighbors -- including James Greer, Allie Baker, Allie Graves, Jamie Mayfield and William Kellum. They got seated in the first three rows. She's fat. I have never been thin enough for Asian men. I've also appeared on his podcast and Vice program, which I recommend wholeheartedly, the Savage Lovecast. Is this how you're judging people? I am a writer, comedian & storyteller.I OFTEN WRITE ABOUT BEING MORMON, OR STUFF ABOUT MY BODY OR WEIGHT. If this isn't-- no, no, no. And we were talking about fat and beauty and how important beauty is for men. And now I'm still on it because I'm about to pitch a TV show in LA, and I need to lose even more weight. Paul would be in charge of making that home a fit one. Our friends, our families, the kids, a cake. Ira talks to producer Elna Baker about the time she and her siblings found themselves trapped in a hotel room with an unexpected visitor. I learned how to do the worm, and I would do it in dance circles. He's actually got a doctorate in physical education. Skin fold testing. Daniel Engber takes us into to a particularly extreme moment for this movement. Today on our program, we're saying maybe that is not the most accurate or the most helpful way to look at this. I called the doctor in a panic. Sarai Walker's book Dietland hit me just as hard. I'm not all there yet, and I'm trying. Grab a Twinkie and come back in a minute, Chicago Public Radio, when our program continues. And so I wondered, why was it important to Oral Roberts? It's undeniable. I said nothing. The ACLU got involved. She said the problem with "overweight" is that it implies that there is a correct weight for people. Soon it was a scam I ran all over the city. But she didn't believe it. But this is what's behind this entire thing. I could gain weight so easily. And for my part, I see how so much of love is physical attraction, especially at the beginning. Ha, ha, ha. The comedian and author recently shared the story of her 110-pound weight loss with the popular podcast This American Life.After being overweight or obese most of her life, she finally decided to the lose the weight in her early twenties and signed up at a weight loss clinic in New York City. Previous to Elna's current city of Cedar Hill, TX, Elna Baker lived in Dallas TX and Waxahachie TX. I was confused. That's what Dan wrote. She'd have to go back to the dorm, say goodbye to her roommates, and go home. I made it through every season of The Wire. But they don't mean, this is who I am. Coming out as fat is a strange idea, because, of course, people can see if you're fat. A lifetime of being talked down to about nutrition, being kept secret by men I was dating, being both invisible and too visible finally foamed up and spilled over. But not all of us of have been able to get to that space where we don't care what other people think. Thin girls get public proposals, like those dudes are winning a fucking prize. How much weight would you have to lose to be Lane Bryant fat? Which means saying to everybody, let's just decide together that, like most fat people, I'll probably always be this way. Read Full Summary At least, it worked for me. No further manpower needed on the shame front. You know, just moving through the world as a big person is hard. They sat in the order they arrived. Oral Roberts wanted to teach a lifestyle to his students, what he called the whole man philosophy-- mind, body, spirit. And they would tell you-- up to your neck. And we're going to hear from people who definitely do not feel the same way that Lindy does about all this. Remember, I was Mormon. So when we were all talking about what wanted to put on this week's show, we come to the subject of fat suits. It's changed my life already. But it felt like there was an invisible force blocking me from achieving my dreams. We dated for another two months, but I couldn't let it go. And so when I became so focused, so driven, so able not to eat, and so into cleaning, I was certain my prayer had been answered. We'd lived in the same small building for four years. I don't know how they reconcile that, you know? It's so common to judge people on their weight. No, that's not even true. It's dehumanizing. It was just me. At the graduation ceremonies of 1975, at the end of my first year there, Oral Roberts observed several students who graduated that he saw were obese. There was a paper banner that said my name. She wasn't strident about this. I was hoping that losing weight might change all that. Love, Lindy.". There's just no way that you're mistaking me for a man. And they would say, blow out as much air as you can and then hold your breath as long as you can. I kept a journal during that time and recently read from it on stage. And did this change the way that you saw fat people? And if I don't think I'm going to be comfortable, I simply won't go. And I was already on high alert for the chair. This year, her Queen Bee costume (which involves a funnel stinger stuck to her butt) isn't attracting the attention she'd anticipated. Elna Baker is one of the producers of our show. It's called Hunger. Exactly. It's so weird to actually hear you say I'm fat. They're art photos. Which is kind of a messed up question, because the subtext is, if I looked like you, I'd definitely throw myself into the sea. I just had to be thin. He's a runner. And please develop some guidelines or some criteria so those students make progress or do not graduate. I was a huge flirt with lots of guy friends. So why do I have to pretend that I'm OK with it? By Elna Baker. Thanks. Yeah, and check in. Yeah, really. And she decides, enough. But I don't think it's difficult at all. And it really had an impact on me. It was just bright, happy, funny, smiling people wearing cute outfits. And it seems like when I read you, I feel like, oh, well, that's a huge part of what you actually don't want to accept. And I know some of your best friends are fat or whatever, but you sound like a bigot. So before you declared to others, OK, I'm fat, how did you see yourself? You draw a distinction among different kinds of fatness. She'd never got the job she wanted if she stayed fat. In fact, the question she's asked most often these days is, where do you get your confidence? And so that's the number one thing that happens, and it's actually extremely annoying. Because breaking a chair is a combination of so many horrible things. "Just take it," the man behind the counter said. It wasn't enough to take diet pills. OK, here's something that I just heard about, though I guess it's been out there for a little while now. I actually heard you say that. So I wasn't like, oh, this feels really big and uncomfortable. I don't like what I am. You're saying, I happen to be this way, but I don't want to be this way. By the way, we double-checked with Lane Bryant. eXtend 864air Overlocking has never been so easy! The school told Jerri at the end of sophomore year that she'd have to keep on losing weight. In the last month and 10 days, I have lost 30 pounds. He's a biker. "Not my point at all either." It's taken care of. With an elna sewing machine, you chose our brandâs high quality standards and excellent after-sale service. I could be anyone. And so we began doing skin fold testing that fall. You would never have been attracted to me before. Pretty much all of them have tried already. My dad might have been acting like he was praying, because he was pretty upset that somebody was treating me like that. Contact I have to go over the lab. Well, I was praying. And then at some point, I just was like, you know, it's fairly likely that I'm going to be fat forever. I asked her to read this part of her story for us here. She'd stay home when friends went hiking, biking, sailing. That's crazy, of course. Quite the same Wikipedia. Here's a journal entry from when I was 22. Daniel Engber. I mean, what if we have kids? But I said to you that you wouldn't have been attracted to me. Aerobics was brand new. As long as you're a fat person who's trying not to be fat, that's acceptable. And they're presented as objects of beauty. It wasn't about saving money. She didn't convince him at all. Nobody says to you, dude, I can't believe you're fat. It's no secret. Our brand Can I have you talk about that? But I started to get comments here and there from readers asking how it felt to know that my boss hated me because of my body. It read as follows. Just better. In the early 1970s, Paul got this dream job offer. Your diet will be aided by medicine, he told me-- potassium, serotonin, dopamine, a multi-vitamin, and then phentermine, which would help suppress my appetite. Students there still have to collect aerobics points. Then, as now, being fat was not just seen by lots of people as a medical failing, but a moral one. When she stepped on the scale, she came in at 184, 4 pounds too heavy. And if you listen to our show a lot, you know him. It just was. I get that you think you're actually helping people by contributing to the alp of shame that crushes every fat person every day of their lives. Yes, it does. But it's just really hard to not care what people think, especially when they're constantly telling you what they think. Now he'd make sure they weren't fat. I don't even have that. But then there's this. She's a hard worker, good attitude. "I am thoroughly annoyed at having my tame statements of fact-- being heavy is a health risk, rolls of exposed flesh are unsightly-- characterized as hate speech.". While writing about all this, I looked up the original exchange. All the techniques and tools ideal for making outfits, especially in trendy jersey fabrics. It included a full body photo of me taken that day by Kelly O, our staff photographer, with the caption, "28 years old, female, 5 foot 9, 263 pounds.". I need to stay thin so I can get what I want. Our latest sewing tutorial shows how we transformed a They told you that in front of your parents, and then you all prayed together with your parents. She just figured she'd just make it work. She says, as a fat teenager, she felt like a monster. And people will say, you know, this is the first-class line, as if I don't belong there. Yeah, and just give me a little more time. It was not going as planned. I related more to those books than any I've ever read. I would never do that now. I mean, then there's when you're super morbidly obese, where you can't really even find stores that can accommodate you. More than anything, this passage from his 2005 book, The Commitment, sums up the overall tone of his stance at the time on fatties. And I look at Google Images. What if I look stupid? One of the big things was, she saw these photos taken by the actor Leonard Nimoy, the guy who played Mr. Spock on Star Trek. But then there's a lot of people who don't like that attitude in me. Elna Baker Tyler. And on top of that, they're ruining America with the terribly expensive diabetes that they don't even have yet? Find the perfect Elna Baker stock photos and editorial news pictures from Getty Images. I didn't tell him about old Elna. I hope that's not bad to say. So that stuff is rewiring her brain, and she's thinking about it a lot. In fact, without this program, I don't think I could survive, because I'd feel like-- I've just been reborn, actually. In one report, the camera shows this guy, an overweight student, sitting shirtless in the lab. An exuberant world of colors and shape to embellish accessories or customize your wardrobe from sober to sophisticated. ELNA BAKER is a Mormon stand-up comedian and writer. Dan's reply was nine words long. And that was code for, seat them in the back three rows at the balcony-- the nosebleed seats. And then they would put you on in the water. I will take another one at 4:00. And that's where I struggle with the fat acceptance movement. And I make sure, are the chairs solid? I've intentionally never googled the side effects. And who's to know which way that decision is going to go? OK, back to Lindy. Act Two, It's a Small World After All. That's what I felt like-- like this whole other world for thin people had existed alongside mine, a world they've been keeping a secret from me. "Just take it," he said. Note: This American Life is produced for the ear and designed to be heard. Occasionally someone would shout something out at me. Such dolls were subjected to ridicule and 'torture' for comedic purposes since they were considered as … New Elna was offered work a month after she hit her goal weight, an entry-level position on an actual TV show. Born again by losing weight. I called my friend Andrea sobbing. 20 more pounds, white guys noticed me. Clothing, home decoration or accessories: start here your journey across a boundless territory. I just mean she has access to spaces that people like me do not. That's key, she says. I would walk down the street. He told me recently he knows he hasn't been listening. Yeah, I'm sure people in the audience-- I mean, well, a guy came running out with a chair. He had traveled the world for those 25 years before we got there praying for the sick. The way that we are taught to think about fatness is that fat is not a permanent state.